Sighh

after i came off the laptop yesterday i ate a yogurt lol go me and then after that i was a bit sorta bleurghh and like whateverrs. and then i had a psych chat and i just kinda let rip and went completely insane.. had quite a horrible meltdown and the lights were flashing and these 3 men were standing at the end of my bed saying nasty things and telling me to go to hell (hallucinations, they werent actually there) and then my skin was crawling and stinging. and the voices were louder and i could hear my baby crying and god i was such a wreck. so that was til like early this morning and then the nurse eventually just rammed some valium in my mouth even though i was kicking her away and all that crap. so yeah sorta spaceyy now. and completely and utterly shattered.
and then this afternoon i had a shower lol that shudnt really be news but it was quite eventful. i have to be watched in the shower lol idk why. its a bit stupid. so yeh i was watched in the show and i nearly had a panic attack cos i had no baby shampoo left and i actually cried. and then after that i went to see the baby and i got to hold her and change her nappy. how sad is this right thats the first ever nappy of hers iv ever changed. and then i got to try and feed her with the bottle but she kept gagging so gave up.