today

i bathed blair yesterday (well tried!) and i almost dropped her so got a bit tense and then i almost yanked her legs off trying to stop her slipping and then she fell anyways so i practically drowned her. poor baby. i wont be trying that again for a while. its so so stressful.. i no ive just got to get used to it.
i suppose im alright too. i feel like ive not had a moment to breathe these last few days and im in a complete panic and havent really stopped cryin.. and its dialisis tomorrow. its never ending honestly. i hate it so much :(