as u all know that Beau has had major problems and they tired to help her... i am sorry to tell u all but Beau Nicole passed away at 1.57pm on the 28th july in her mothers arms. she is dressed in a pink baby suit and is sleeping peacefully in a cot by kaylie side in her room at the moment. kaylie is devastated as anyone would be of losing a child..please can u all send ur prayers and thought to her at this sad time.
a poam for Beau Nicole.may she rest in peace....
From the start you were a bonus
though you gave your Mum a shock
that two were in her flock.
But Darling twasn't meant to be
that you would see the light
The world just wasn't ready
the time just wasn't right.
You came in peace and comfort
and knew no other way
They tried to keep you healthy
but you just couldn't stay.
You touched so many people
your Mum, your sister Blair,
your brother paris
wish you'd had a chance.
So she will not forget you
has your sister here
To love and laugh and cuddle
and keep your memory near.
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
Sunday, 27 July 2008
K & twins
Just thought id start a new post lol cos the old ones old
But well ill start from the beginning. on friday morning the dr rang and said beau had had another brain bleed like grade 4 and her heart was really weak and that she probably wouldnt get through the night. so me n my mum rushed down in the car friday afternoon just to be there for her and k and everyone. so were in london now still. beau got through the night and saturday night weve been praying that she held on till kay woke up so that she cud meet her. you should have seen me yesterday i was absolutely terrified that beau would die and i would be there and kay wouldnt. it felt like such a betrayal you know? but i took loads of pictures for her and stuff.
well then this mornin kay woke up!!! shes so weak and pale and has lost so much weight she like woke up and passed out poor lass. so then they sorted her out to go see the twins quick like incase or whatever. so that took ages like taking out her oxygen tube or something n givin her loadsa drugs and forcing her to drink something. so then she got put in a wheelchair and taken down to the nicu.
so when she saw them she was like crying her eyes out bless her it must be so mindblowing being asleep for 3 weeks and like not knowing anything. and meeting your babies for the first time.
so then this afternoon while k was with her beau completely flatlined but they managed to resucitate her thank god but that just upset k more obv. all that while k was trying to stay not passed out. but beaus not doing well at all. i dont want to say anything like to jinx it but aw its really heartbreaking shes struggling to keep her eyes open even shes so weak
im still at the hospital now with my mum and paris is in the hospital creche atm its like chaos he got a 10 second hug with mummy and then off he went bless him it must be so confusing for him.
But well ill start from the beginning. on friday morning the dr rang and said beau had had another brain bleed like grade 4 and her heart was really weak and that she probably wouldnt get through the night. so me n my mum rushed down in the car friday afternoon just to be there for her and k and everyone. so were in london now still. beau got through the night and saturday night weve been praying that she held on till kay woke up so that she cud meet her. you should have seen me yesterday i was absolutely terrified that beau would die and i would be there and kay wouldnt. it felt like such a betrayal you know? but i took loads of pictures for her and stuff.
well then this mornin kay woke up!!! shes so weak and pale and has lost so much weight she like woke up and passed out poor lass. so then they sorted her out to go see the twins quick like incase or whatever. so that took ages like taking out her oxygen tube or something n givin her loadsa drugs and forcing her to drink something. so then she got put in a wheelchair and taken down to the nicu.
so when she saw them she was like crying her eyes out bless her it must be so mindblowing being asleep for 3 weeks and like not knowing anything. and meeting your babies for the first time.
so then this afternoon while k was with her beau completely flatlined but they managed to resucitate her thank god but that just upset k more obv. all that while k was trying to stay not passed out. but beaus not doing well at all. i dont want to say anything like to jinx it but aw its really heartbreaking shes struggling to keep her eyes open even shes so weak
im still at the hospital now with my mum and paris is in the hospital creche atm its like chaos he got a 10 second hug with mummy and then off he went bless him it must be so confusing for him.
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
Poems
just thought these were nice poems and didnt want to lose them lol before k sees them
There's two to wash
There's two to dry,
There's two who argue
There's two who cry.
One's in the mud
Having a ball
The other holds a crayon
Another marked wall.
Some days seem endless
My patience grows thin.
Why was I chosen
To be a Mother of Twins?
The answer comes clear
At the end of each day,
As I tuck them in bed
And to myself I say.
There's two to kiss
There's two to hug.
And best of all
There's two to love.
and
So many good things come in pairs,
Like ears and socks and panda bears.
But best of all are sets of twins,
with extra laughter, double grins.
There's so much fun in having two
with twice as many points of view.
So much alike, forever linked,
and yet they're also quite distinct.
They share a birthday and a name,
But moods and tempers aren't the same.
Although at times they may dispute,
their loyalty is absolute.
From days of youth till life is done,
it's one for both and both for one.
We're all quite novel and precise,
But special people, God made twice..
and
One of our twins never slept all night
The beds are unmade-but i guess thats alright
The washing is callimg for me to hang it out
My plans for rest have gone up the spout
Theres bottles to mix and veges to puree
The kitchens a mess-like it is everyday
A mixture of toys and food on the floor
I'll clean it all up-but soon theyll be more
But i just cant resist to take a quick peep
at my beautiful babies finally asleep..
There's two to wash
There's two to dry,
There's two who argue
There's two who cry.
One's in the mud
Having a ball
The other holds a crayon
Another marked wall.
Some days seem endless
My patience grows thin.
Why was I chosen
To be a Mother of Twins?
The answer comes clear
At the end of each day,
As I tuck them in bed
And to myself I say.
There's two to kiss
There's two to hug.
And best of all
There's two to love.
and
So many good things come in pairs,
Like ears and socks and panda bears.
But best of all are sets of twins,
with extra laughter, double grins.
There's so much fun in having two
with twice as many points of view.
So much alike, forever linked,
and yet they're also quite distinct.
They share a birthday and a name,
But moods and tempers aren't the same.
Although at times they may dispute,
their loyalty is absolute.
From days of youth till life is done,
it's one for both and both for one.
We're all quite novel and precise,
But special people, God made twice..
and
One of our twins never slept all night
The beds are unmade-but i guess thats alright
The washing is callimg for me to hang it out
My plans for rest have gone up the spout
Theres bottles to mix and veges to puree
The kitchens a mess-like it is everyday
A mixture of toys and food on the floor
I'll clean it all up-but soon theyll be more
But i just cant resist to take a quick peep
at my beautiful babies finally asleep..
Update
well now Ks off the meds keeping her under (they took her off them the day after yesterday) and she still hasnt come round :S. the dr said usually it takes like a few hours at most so its a bit weird but he said hes not too worried it might just be how her body copes with all the stuff shes been through really. but shes almost all better i think still on a load of meds but there mostly just incase, but her temps gone up a bit since yesterday so theyre keeping an eye. this really is never ending for her poor lass.
blair is doing pretty well :) still on cpap i think but doing great on it and beau is doing pretty well aswell i think. still on the vent but not had anymore complications from her heart or brain
blair is doing pretty well :) still on cpap i think but doing great on it and beau is doing pretty well aswell i think. still on the vent but not had anymore complications from her heart or brain
Monday, 21 July 2008
Update
Now kays doing way better theyve like stopped the meds or whatever that were keepin her under so she should come round soon. her temps just about normal and her kidneys are doing good and all that shes just on meds for the infection i think
blairs doing relaly good shes 1lb11oz now gettin big (lol) and theyve put her on oxygen like just the nose tube but they think she'll probably be able to breathe on her own now so theyl try her breathin on her own but leave it in or something incase she gets tired. so yayyy shes doing fantastic
and beau is doing a big better shes got something in her head to drain the bleed and has put on weight so shes 1lb7oz now i think. shes still on the vent but once they think shes coping ok with the brain thing and they check her hearts doing ok then theyl put her on cpap and see how she does
blairs doing relaly good shes 1lb11oz now gettin big (lol) and theyve put her on oxygen like just the nose tube but they think she'll probably be able to breathe on her own now so theyl try her breathin on her own but leave it in or something incase she gets tired. so yayyy shes doing fantastic
and beau is doing a big better shes got something in her head to drain the bleed and has put on weight so shes 1lb7oz now i think. shes still on the vent but once they think shes coping ok with the brain thing and they check her hearts doing ok then theyl put her on cpap and see how she does
Friday, 18 July 2008
Gettin better
Right so now Kays wayyy better her temps gone down and everything but shes still on a ton of meds but basically ok now all shes gota do is wake up. they moved her out of ICU aswell :)Blairs doing great shes put on a bit of weight (shes like 1lb 7 or 8 now so back to birth weight ish) and is doing good on cpap n stuffBeaus not so good she went downhill last night so the doctors were running a load of tests and took her for scans n stuff an shes had a bleed on her brain poor girly i dont know what that means overall but it cant be good :( an her hearts givin her problems aswell like her heart has to work double time so shes really tired and weak so is more vulnerable to infections and stuff than Blair is overall but they are both pretty vulnerable (im not allowed to touch them lol only the drs are allowed an K when she wakes up)
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
today
Right so now kaylie is WORSE! she had a seizure last night and than again when i was there this morning. the hypovolemic shock made her go into prerenal acute renal failure which she is almost over a week later. the meds she was on for the fever werent working at all so theyve changed her meds. her temperature this morning was just over 40oC (like 40.9 or something :S ) which is almost hyperpyrexia whatever that is. shes got a really low blood pressure and theyre changing all the tubes that could be causing an infection and there giving her loads of meds to try and make sure the puerperal fever doesnt turn into puerperal sepsis or septicemia so fingers crossed everyone! :(
blair is doing really good atm :) weighing the same as yesterday but not lost any so thats good
and beau is hanging on shes same weight aswell and responding well to the fluids and things
they would be 27+4 today i think
blair is doing really good atm :) weighing the same as yesterday but not lost any so thats good
and beau is hanging on shes same weight aswell and responding well to the fluids and things
they would be 27+4 today i think
Monday, 14 July 2008
Update again
Kaylie is still pretty much the same and Blair is on CPAP instead of a ventilator for the first time today and she was doing really well when i left this afternoon :)And Beau has lost yet more weight shes at like 1lb 4 or something now and on top of her heart problem she might have a problem with her kidneys so the drs are doing more tests poor girly :(
Saturday, 12 July 2008
Kay
Well today i bugged the dr cos he wasnt tellin me anythin n it was gettin irritating and he said theyv decided to keep her under because shes had a fever since thursday night and her heartbeats really fast and her breathing and they think shes got purperal fever or purperal sepsis (sp?) which im not sure what it is but im gna google it in a sec lol but shes on antibiotics and oxygen and an iv drip an saline or something :( poor her
just googled it.. puErperal fever =
Puerperal fever (from the latin puer, child), also called childbed fever, can develop into puerperal sepsis, which is a serious form of septicaemia contracted by a woman during or shortly after childbirth, miscarriage or abortion.
The most common infection causing Puerperal Fever is genital tract sepsis. Historically its spread was usually attributable to unsanitary conditions, but in modern medicine can still be caused by the naturally occurring Group A Streptococcus (GAS, Streptococcus pyogenes) bacterium and Group B Streptococcus (GBS, Streptococcus agalactiae, which usually causes less severe maternal disease)[1].
Other types of infection that can lead to sepsis in the puerperum include urinary tract infection, mastitis and respiratory tract infection (more common after anaesthesia).
Other causal organisms, in order of prevalence, include staphylococci, coliforms, anaerobes, chlamydia, mycoplasma and very rarely, Clostridium welchii.
Puerperal fever is now rare in the West due to improved hygiene during delivery, and deaths have been reduced by antibiotics.
However, the Confidential Enquiry into Maternal and Child Health (UK) reported that, in 2003-2005, genital tract sepsis accounted for 14% of direct causes of maternal death[2] still making puerperal fever a significant factor in maternal death.
:O
good old wikipedia
but Ohh My Gawwdd
just googled it.. puErperal fever =
Puerperal fever (from the latin puer, child), also called childbed fever, can develop into puerperal sepsis, which is a serious form of septicaemia contracted by a woman during or shortly after childbirth, miscarriage or abortion.
The most common infection causing Puerperal Fever is genital tract sepsis. Historically its spread was usually attributable to unsanitary conditions, but in modern medicine can still be caused by the naturally occurring Group A Streptococcus (GAS, Streptococcus pyogenes) bacterium and Group B Streptococcus (GBS, Streptococcus agalactiae, which usually causes less severe maternal disease)[1].
Other types of infection that can lead to sepsis in the puerperum include urinary tract infection, mastitis and respiratory tract infection (more common after anaesthesia).
Other causal organisms, in order of prevalence, include staphylococci, coliforms, anaerobes, chlamydia, mycoplasma and very rarely, Clostridium welchii.
Puerperal fever is now rare in the West due to improved hygiene during delivery, and deaths have been reduced by antibiotics.
However, the Confidential Enquiry into Maternal and Child Health (UK) reported that, in 2003-2005, genital tract sepsis accounted for 14% of direct causes of maternal death[2] still making puerperal fever a significant factor in maternal death.
:O
good old wikipedia
but Ohh My Gawwdd
Friday, 11 July 2008
Twins are here!
Beau Nicole born 7.23am 2lb 2oz & Blair Niamh 7.25am 1lb 7.5oz on July 7th 2008 by c-section.
Kaylie had grade 2 placental abruption before she had them but at some point it went to grade 3 (a complete abruption) and hemorraged so she lost a lot of blood and is still unconcious. Shes had quite a few blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. Because of the loss of blood she went into and still is in hypovolemic shock and the drs are worried she might have DIC or some other blood clotting disorder but shes doing ok for now and the drs have stopped the bleeding and say she will probably come round tomorrow or sunday.
The twins are doing ok ish i think the drs wont tell me much about them. They were in the same incubator for a while but then Beau started going a bit blue and not responding to some of the meds so they have done an echo of her heart and things to check it out and they were put in seperate incubators and then Blairs oxygen sats dropped when she was moved away from Beau. I think there both on ventilators and IV thingys.
When Kays better I'll let her update you all with more details and things but i think what I've said is right :)
Kaylie had grade 2 placental abruption before she had them but at some point it went to grade 3 (a complete abruption) and hemorraged so she lost a lot of blood and is still unconcious. Shes had quite a few blood transfusions and platelet transfusions. Because of the loss of blood she went into and still is in hypovolemic shock and the drs are worried she might have DIC or some other blood clotting disorder but shes doing ok for now and the drs have stopped the bleeding and say she will probably come round tomorrow or sunday.
The twins are doing ok ish i think the drs wont tell me much about them. They were in the same incubator for a while but then Beau started going a bit blue and not responding to some of the meds so they have done an echo of her heart and things to check it out and they were put in seperate incubators and then Blairs oxygen sats dropped when she was moved away from Beau. I think there both on ventilators and IV thingys.
When Kays better I'll let her update you all with more details and things but i think what I've said is right :)
Friday, 4 July 2008
Arrrghhh
So the dr came on his rounds lol this mornin n all that blabblabla but he said that the twins arent looking good so they want them to hang on till monday n then on monday theyl deliver them by c-section :'(
Theyl be 26weeks and 4days.
Theyl be 26weeks and 4days.
Thursday, 3 July 2008
Off to london
Im off to london to see kay tomorrow. My mums driving me to london n then seein her friend in cambridge for the day n then were gna stay with her friend n then paris gna go down to cambridge w mum n then i can take him to london if kay wants.
Just thought id let you all know that and il update asap but i dont know when that will be. Not sure if ill be able to get on computer in cambridge/london.
x
Just thought id let you all know that and il update asap but i dont know when that will be. Not sure if ill be able to get on computer in cambridge/london.
x
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
This last week
The membrane has detatched from the wall of the placenta and is wrapped around the donor baby. There is hardly any fluid between Blair and the membrane (in some places no visible fluid at all). If fluid decreases anymore in like the next 12 hours (yeah I have scans in the middle of the night aswell it’s never ending) then Ill have to have an emergency csection.
And the doctor is now concerned with fluid around Blairs lungs and tricuspid regurgitation (backward blood flow in the heart aka reverse end diasolic flow). If this gets worse aswell then they'll have to deliver.
Recipient baby Beau is doing a bit better still in early stages of heart failure (which im on digoxin for) and has fluid around her abdomen and heart (called hydrops). But her dopplers are looking much better.
Beau is 2lb 4oz and Blair is 1lb 8oz which are really good weights for 25 weeks and a bit (Ive lost count how many days).
Anndddd I’ve got a grade 2 placental abruption. I am had like one big long contraction (and now im having contractions again so im on terbutaline instead of mag sulfate because mag sulfate makes me so damn sick) and my tummy hurts like hell and I was just like sat in bed and then I felt like a pop and then there was like a gush of blood (sorry tmi) but the Dr thinks its only a partial abruption which is supposed to stop me worrying a bit (?). The babies are showing some signs of distress and I might be going into shock because I feel like really weak and faint so the Drs keeping an eye. The Dr said that we have to weigh the risks of having them be born now against a worsening abruption but I think id rather have them delivered a bit later but they are prepared to deliver them soon if they need to. I did the right thing didnt i? He said to me aswell :’( that if everything got worse and I went into distress and they did a csection and everything.. if it came to choosing between saving me or saving the twins he would have to save me. Why would he tell me that? Thats a horrible thing to say I wish hed never told me because that just sounds like aargh I don’t know but like im there mum I should be looking after them.
God i hate all this like aarghh what is it ive had ttts for like 2-3 weeks? FFS give me a break god everythings just happening at once! I miss Paris and i just want to go home, hospital is like a prison and boring as hell. The food is disgusting, theres nothing to do, im surrounded by people who think there really hard done by because there going into labour at like 34 weeks and think there having a rough time on mag sulfate.. try being on it for like a week with scans every 10seconds. Then you can go on about how hard your pregnancy is. Im like sat in the computer bit in a wheelchair cos im not even allowed to get up. My legs are going to like waste away! I know i havent even been on bedrest all that long and i suppose its not taking as long as some other people who have been going through this since like 18 weeks or whatever. But my heart still breaks a little more everytime they find yet another thing wrong.
And id like to thank lily for updating people lol even though its only been like 5 days or something, it feels like forever since ive spoke to some of you. And i miss it. I miss everything. I miss normality.
And the doctor is now concerned with fluid around Blairs lungs and tricuspid regurgitation (backward blood flow in the heart aka reverse end diasolic flow). If this gets worse aswell then they'll have to deliver.
Recipient baby Beau is doing a bit better still in early stages of heart failure (which im on digoxin for) and has fluid around her abdomen and heart (called hydrops). But her dopplers are looking much better.
Beau is 2lb 4oz and Blair is 1lb 8oz which are really good weights for 25 weeks and a bit (Ive lost count how many days).
Anndddd I’ve got a grade 2 placental abruption. I am had like one big long contraction (and now im having contractions again so im on terbutaline instead of mag sulfate because mag sulfate makes me so damn sick) and my tummy hurts like hell and I was just like sat in bed and then I felt like a pop and then there was like a gush of blood (sorry tmi) but the Dr thinks its only a partial abruption which is supposed to stop me worrying a bit (?). The babies are showing some signs of distress and I might be going into shock because I feel like really weak and faint so the Drs keeping an eye. The Dr said that we have to weigh the risks of having them be born now against a worsening abruption but I think id rather have them delivered a bit later but they are prepared to deliver them soon if they need to. I did the right thing didnt i? He said to me aswell :’( that if everything got worse and I went into distress and they did a csection and everything.. if it came to choosing between saving me or saving the twins he would have to save me. Why would he tell me that? Thats a horrible thing to say I wish hed never told me because that just sounds like aargh I don’t know but like im there mum I should be looking after them.
God i hate all this like aarghh what is it ive had ttts for like 2-3 weeks? FFS give me a break god everythings just happening at once! I miss Paris and i just want to go home, hospital is like a prison and boring as hell. The food is disgusting, theres nothing to do, im surrounded by people who think there really hard done by because there going into labour at like 34 weeks and think there having a rough time on mag sulfate.. try being on it for like a week with scans every 10seconds. Then you can go on about how hard your pregnancy is. Im like sat in the computer bit in a wheelchair cos im not even allowed to get up. My legs are going to like waste away! I know i havent even been on bedrest all that long and i suppose its not taking as long as some other people who have been going through this since like 18 weeks or whatever. But my heart still breaks a little more everytime they find yet another thing wrong.
And id like to thank lily for updating people lol even though its only been like 5 days or something, it feels like forever since ive spoke to some of you. And i miss it. I miss everything. I miss normality.
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
Stage IV
Just spoke to Kaylie. Things arent going so well the twins are now stage 4. Little Beau has got extra fluid in her abdomen and heart (hydrops i think?) and is going into heart failure so is in a critical condition and then Blair has tricuspid regurgitation because of enlarged right atrium. The drs have started the steroid injections for the babies and think that Beau can hold out till at least 26 weeks.
Well fingers xd everyone. And i wish Kaylie and the twins all the luck in the world.
Well fingers xd everyone. And i wish Kaylie and the twins all the luck in the world.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
