Kidney match

So the kidney thingy, its confusing but i think iv got it.. So right say theres 6 numbers, and i have 1, 2, 3, 4 and aarons got 1, 2, 4, 6 so hes got 3 of the same numbers as me so that counts as a match, but then beacuse im young ill probably need another kidney in the future so then because i dont have the 6 and aarons kidney would then i would make antibodies against it so i cudnt have another kidney with a 6 in because id reject it. I THINK (not very sure how many numbers there are, dr only explained it in simple terms). So he is a match basically :) so thats great..

been to see blair and i changed her nappy lol so exciting, i love it :P aaron was like your so weird cos i was like rushing to pick her up and sort her out, and i changed her baby grow (thats a first) so that was a bit nerve racking. it was really hard getting her hands in so in the end i had to poke my fingers up her sleeve and hold her fingers together and yank them through. shes used to having her arms bare atm, shes not worn a sleepsuit for a while just vests. i was showing aaron a few pictures of blair when she was smaller and i found one of her first time wearing clothes, so cute :) and then aaron started asking to see pictures of beau so i was like no and he kinda ruined it. and then i had to sit on my hands while aaron held her, im so paranoid, i hate anyone else touching her. i dont mind amanda obv and other nurses, just seems to be men lol i hate it when the consultant sees her and holds her too.

im ok ish now hes gone, i do like having a visitor to a point, but it does stress me out a lot and its hard keeping everything in and to keep smiling! my heads gone all fast and blurry i was talking to holly a second ago and all my words just went splurge so i had to shutup. when i turn my head all the colours drag and swirl its very strange. and the lapi screen is like stripy.

Soooo

not been on here in ages, again.
had a bit of a shitty weekend and had a bit of a meltdown type thing and didnt see blair for 3 days. started taking my meds a bit more now, so im a bit better. i had dialisis yesterday and my half brother aarons come today to talk to the dr about donating a kidney, but weve got to wait another week for results. sighh.. im so impatient
blairs doing well shes still on cpap though cant quite manage to breathe on her own, she still hates the cpap elastic though. shes 5lb 9oz now so nearly 6lb! what a fatty. i even managed to bath her, im not allowed to bath her properly though, amanda has to hold her and i just hol her head and slosh water all over. but it was nice. and shes in size.... 1 nappies! how exciting.
and iv made a friend called holly.. shes alright, shes having a shit time too so i dont mind her complaining..
ive made beau a new memorial site too as the old one wasnt that good, you can leave candles and stuff on this one :)
http://beaunicole.gonetoosoon.org/

So far this year

i cant remember everything thats happened, so just go with it. start from now.
so today was ok to start with i went to see blair and she was so cute. i held her a bit and fed her and she drank like half an oz and spat the rest all over me. she was put on cpap yesterday after being on the vent for a while. she cried non stop cos she dont like the cpap elastic on her face. shes alright though. slowely getting over her illness. putting on weight so thats good shes 5lb 3 now. and she survived the night in a cot lol but the nurse ses shes taking a bit to get used to not haveing a roof she keeps reaching her arms up and arching her back

im alright too, getting over the aneurism just my tummys a bit sore now and the peripheral neuropathys not really changed but im working on it. i have to just practice walking with a zimmer frame which i look a complete idiot doing. and im on more meds! and i actually ate some egg yesterday and some protein shake this morning, get me

Things that have happened to me last year

January 20th ricky had the bi-directional Glenn procedure
Feb 19th my mums 2nd suicide anniversary
Feb 20th camerons 6th anniversary
Feb 25th anniversary of me and leo splitting up
Feb 28th I found out I was pregnant again
March 10th my dads 1st suicide anniversary
March 16th paris got pneumonia
March 20th paris got septicemia
March 23rd ricky officially adopted
March 28th paris was let out of hospital
March 31st found out I was pregnant with twins
June 10th twins were dx with TTTS stage 2
June 17th twins were dx with stage 3 TTTS
June 26th I was referred to london for treatment
July 1st twins were dx with stage 4 TTTS, and it was rickys 1st birthday
July 2nd I got a grade 2 placental abruption
July 6th I got a grade 3 placental abruption and completely hemorraged
July 7th Beau Nicole and Blair Niamh were born
July 10th I went into hypovolemic shock and prerenal acute renal failure
July 11th I was dx with puerferal fever
July 18th Beau had her first IVH
July 26th Beau had grade 4 IVH
July 27th I eventually came round
July 28th I lost my baby Beau
August 7th Beaus funeral
September 2nd I was dx with kidney disease, PTSD and PND
September 5th I was dx with osteoparosis
September 8th I was dx with renal artery stenosis, and I had an op to put a fistula into my arm and I had left heart failure and a flash pulmonary edema
September 22nd paris was 3!
September 24th I was transferred from queen charlottes
September 25th I started dialisis
October 10th twins due date
October 18th I was dx with psychotic depression
November 7th Blair had a op on her heart for her VSD
November 23rd Blair had a mri and ecg which showed she had a grade 2 IVH
Novermber 30th I changed Blairs nappy for the first time ever
December 2nd I bathed Blair for the first time
December 17th Paris came for a visit
December 22nd I was dx with an aneurism
December 23rd I had an op to sort the aneurism and went into hypovolemic shock again
December 25th I was 17!
December 26th I came round after my op
December 30th I was dx with peripheral neuropathy
December 31st I had another op to sort out the aneurism stuff

Just thought id put it all together, for myself. some of this stuff i barely remember, and i definitely dont realise it was only this year. it feels like years ago.