So..its been xmas already, always an emotional day i think, for all angel families.. but it was my birthday too which is quite emotional too which seems weird but it is. I never had christmas or birthdays when I was little. Nobody cared but my brother. And that's fine, but then being suddenly expected to really love the day is harder than it sounds. When everyone else in the world is happy or so it seems, but to me its jst another normal day!

Well anyways, I had fairy xmas eve, and xmas day. And the day after that as alannah cudnt pick her up woo. we went to midnight mass - I had to give her a late nap lol to make sure she stayed awake but I still took her in pjs and the buggy. It was so lovely, lots of candles and singing and f loved it. She clapped and shouted Haha. And she loved all the attention she got. She's gettin so good at little words bless her :)

And then xmas morning we chilled and she opened all her knickers, well she opened some xmas eve. I washed them, ironed them and then wrapped them individually..I have never seen a more pleased child! She kept lifting her dress up to show everyone her new knickers, and shouting oooh ayy - roughly translated as turn round and look at my pants mama!!

She's doin good with petty training too, I'm such a proud mama. She went on the potty loads lol with only a few accidents. I managed to persuade her to wear a pull up at night though phew! We had mama and fairy style xmas dinner - mash and chicken but it was good enough :) she's doin good at eating too my clever girl.

She came with a pressie from alannah too, a fairy dust candle..its so gorge! Then alannah come to get her on 26th and she was so upset and didn't wana leave me :( all curled into me bless her. I no theres nothin I can do, but it breaks my heart. I can't wait til our next visit, possibly new years eve/day.

26th was cams bday too, my amazing big brothers.. miss him so much. Can't rly say anything about it that I haven't said before, that means enough. I just wish he was still here, with all my heart. The one person who knew me inside out, who knew what I needed before even I did and who wud look after me no matter what. He really was the most amazing and lovely boy iv ever known, and I was truly lucky to have him.

Now all I need is my big boy, he's at leos and its not goin well at all. Idk what he's been sayin to him but he's just ruining everythin. Paris keeps refusing to talk to me, or crying and sayin he will never see me again and I like fairy more :( breaks my heart.

Today is Karens beautiful girl kayles's birthday, so got my candle lit for her and thinkin of her special mum :) makes me sad to think there are so many angels up there, and so many people left behind missing them :( just hope that all our angels are together, waiting for us and watchin over us, having their own fun too xxx